


A Different Kind of Need

by Eilera



Series: Asexual Shiro [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Shiro (Voltron), Asexuality, Drama, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Romance, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Shatt, Shiro Doesn't Know What He Is, Thankfully Matt is There to Help, They Make It Work, ace/sexual relationship, love is love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 05:16:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15357087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eilera/pseuds/Eilera
Summary: Matt wrapped his arms around him, tugging him into a tight embrace.“Takashi, you’re probably just asexual.”Shiro blinked, returning the hug just as fiercely. He didn’t know what the hell an ‘asexual’ was, but for once in his life Matt wasn’t teasing him. Shiro usually didn’t mind at all, but he didn’t think he could handle it with this. Not this.“I don’t know what that is.” Shiro mumbled into Matt’s shoulder.(In which Shiro learns he is asexual, Matt is a sexual dork who is very supportive and in the end they make the relationship work.)





	A Different Kind of Need

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel of sorts to my fic "My Anaconda Don't". You don't have to read that one before reading this one but I would recommend reading them both for the best effect. My Anaconda Don't is a more humorous take on asexual Shiro. 
> 
> This fic was difficult for me to write in that I pulled a lot from myself to write it. I am asexual and a lot of what Shiro experiences and feels here is reflective of my own journey trying to figure out what the hell I was. With that being said, though this is reflective of myself, I am not the be all end all representation of asexuals. Not all asexuals feel this way but some might. We're a large spectrum so please don't assume all asexuals will be just like Shiro. :)
> 
> Special thanks to [DeathByStorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathByStorm/works) for beta'ing as usual.

Shiro was a very good actor.

“Dude, I slept with Kristy last night.” Steve grinned, eyes sparkling with pride.

Shiro’s smile was firmly in place, just the right amount of impressed interest.

“Bro, you’ve been trying to get into her pants for, like, weeks.” Brandon cheered, slapping Steve’s back with way more force than was probably necessary.

All Shiro could think was ‘why’?

“It was worth the wait, man.” Steve had practically grown three inches from the praise.

Shiro pulled on his gym shirt. He’d learned that talking less usually meant people filled in the blanks themselves.

Chris grinned. “Well, if it was anything like Stacey, I was about ready to propose it was so good.”

Shiro’s laughter was as fake as his smile.

No one noticed.

Shiro was a very good actor.

He had years of experience.

\---------------------------------------------------

“Are you gay?” The disdain in her voice was palpable, so thick Shiro could almost taste it.

If only it were that simple.

Shiro buttoned up his shirt, back to her as he tried to hide his shaking fingers. “I’m not…I’m not attracted to men.” _Either_ was the unspoken addition to that.

She huffed, crossing her arms as he got up off the bed. “I don’t understand the problem then. Am I not appealing to you?”

Shiro’s heart broke at the tears in her eyes. “Of course I-“

“Then why don’t you want to fuck me?!” She cried, fists clenched in the sheets of her bed. “I thought you loved me.”

He thought he did too. Cuddling on the couch while they watched a movie left his heart light. Just seeing her smile caused his breath to catch. She was beautiful.

So why did the thought of sex with her cause his stomach to recoil in disgust?

“I do, it’s just, your parents are downstairs and…we shouldn’t.”

He was a very good liar.

But not good enough to lie to himself.

\---------------------------------------------------

They broke up two weeks later.

He stopped trying after that.

\---------------------------------------------------

Being accepted into the Garrison was an escape. He had a lot of acquaintances in school but not very many actual friends. He kept himself busy tutoring, organizing sports and generally assisting anyone who needed it. If he was too busy to have a girlfriend, people were more understanding.

It was much easier than explaining the truth.

Shiro had already been fascinated by space, often sitting and watching the stars at night.

The first time he used the flight simulator, he felt more alive than he ever had before.

And then he met Matthew Holt.

\---------------------------------------------------

Shiro and Matt clicked like two magnets of opposite polarities.

Sure, they had a lot in common. They were both complete dorks, often marathoning seasons of Star Trek and various anime. Matt was as obsessed about space as Shiro was and they often talked long into the night about aliens, daydreaming about all the crazy shenanigans they would encounter after graduation.

Matt was a challenge to Shiro in video games and absolutely devastating in chess.

But they were also very different. Shiro was organized, meticulous and reserved. Matt was loud, prone to misplacing _everything_ and completely laid-back.

Somehow, it worked.

Matt made him laugh. He laughed more now than he ever had before. Shiro did his best to return that gift by reminding Matt of due dates and making sure he slept.

Of course, as usual, it was inevitable that the question would eventually come up.

“So, Shiro-pon, you got any crushes? Wanna tap some ass?”

Shiro blinked, looking over at Matt. The idiot was laying on his stomach on Shiro’s bed, kicking his feet back and forth like they were at a teenage girl’s slumber party. He fluttered his eyelashes at Shiro for good measure.

“Tap?”

Matt groaned, rolling over onto his back and hugging a pillow to his chest. He let his head hang over the edge of the bed, staring at Shiro upside down.

“Dude, sex.”

Before Shiro even realized it, he was slipping back into that well-worn mask.

“My Advanced Flight courses are keeping me way too busy for that, unfortunately.” Shiro’s smile was as bland as a desert. Lying to Matt left him feeling sick, but it was still easier than explaining what Shiro himself didn’t really understand. “Besides, there are fraternization rules.”

Matt’s golden-brown eyes were like lasers and his heart stopped at the thought that he could see right through his façade to the deep, dark truth at Shiro’s core.

He was broken.

After a moment, Matt grinned, throwing the pillow at Shiro and missing him by about a foot. “Fuck the rules and by rules I mean Kevin. I want to fuck Kevin.”

Shiro’s muscles relaxed imperceptibly.

Lying to him hurt more than he expected.

\---------------------------------------------------

He still didn’t know what was _wrong_ with him, why he had never felt the need to screw anything that moved. He was never more thankful for the Garrison's strict military structure. It gave him ample excuses.

But he was tired of excuses, he just wanted to be _fixed_.

Which was how he found himself mostly naked in someone else’s bed, desperately trying to ignore the shivers of revulsion wracking his entire body.

Tom had been in a few of Shiro’s classes and he’d seemed like a nice guy. In a brief moment of complete insanity, Shiro had the thought that if he just _forced_ himself to do it, he would realize it wasn’t so bad and he would be fine. Maybe he would be able to finally understand what had people so obsessed over all of this.

He was an idiot.

“S-stop,” Shiro choked out, pushing Tom’s hands away.

Tom just moved his hands elsewhere, pressing himself closer to Shiro’s body. He could feel Tom's hard dick against his thigh and-

“Stop!” Shiro commanded, voice deep with all the authority he could muster after two years of Garrison training.

Tom leaned back, eyes wide. “What’s the problem?”

Shiro was out of the bed before he could register it, pulling on his pants like armour. He didn’t even bother with his shirt, clutching it in his hands so tightly the fabric strained.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Tom frowned, staring at him.

“I need to go.”

“Why? Are you a virgin or something?” Tom’s face twisted in amusement. “You’re like, what, twenty? Twenty-one? Have you seriously not lost your v-card yet?”

The contempt was just as powerful as it had been years ago.

_“Are you gay?” The disdain in her voice was palpable, so thick Shiro could almost taste it._

Shiro didn’t know what he was.

He didn’t bother answering Tom, just tore out of the room barefoot. The hallways were mercifully empty this close to curfew. Shiro was so out of it he wouldn’t have noticed anyone even if they were there.

It was like one moment he was in Block B and the next he was standing in front of his dorm. He couldn’t remember how he got from B to E but it didn’t matter.

He stumbled into his room, praying Matt was asleep. Of course, Matt hardly slept unless Shiro reminded him and so he was up, the soft glow of the TV illuminating his face in the otherwise dark room.

“Hey,” Matt grinned, not looking away from the screen. “I beat your record! Try and-" he cut himself off as he looked over at Shiro, immediately pausing the game in alarm. “Shiro! Are you okay?”

No.

He opened his mouth to lie. Front like a fucking champion, but for the first time it just didn’t come. He was _tired_. Tired of pretending. Tired of the confusion.

Tired of being broken.

“I…” Shiro halted, unsure.

“Did he fucking hurt you?” Matt snarled, the sudden vehemence completely at odds with his usual demeanor. “I’ll kill him. He’s in B block, right? I can make it look like an accident.”

“No, I-"

To his horror, Shiro could feel tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to escape. Oh God, he didn’t want to cry in front of Matt.

“Hey,” Matt said, so softly Shiro almost thought he imagined it. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Of course he could. This was Matt.

Shiro let Matt pull him to the tiny armchair they’d squeezed into their dorm. They’d picked it up one day off the side of the street and Shiro wouldn’t let Matt sit in it until he’d gone over it thoroughly with a steam cleaner. It still kind of smelled like cheese, but it was comfy. Shiro sank into it, wiping his cheek with his free hand to try and hide the tears.

“Shiro, seriously, did he hurt you? Do we need to report this?”

“No!” Shiro groaned, looking away from Matt. “It’s my fault.”

“Oh God, do we have to hide a body? I always knew this day would come. I just thought I would have been the one to snap instead of you.”

Shiro snorted, lips twitching in amusement. Matt always knew just what to say to bring a smile to his face. Shiro looked down at his hands clenched tightly in his lap.

“He was mad that I wouldn’t have sex with him.”

Matt tilted his head so that he could see Shiro’s face. “Uh, last time I checked that would be _his_ fault for being an asshole, not yours.”

“No, it’s-“ Shiro left out a wet huff of breath, not sure how to say it right. “It’s…it’s me. It’s all on me.”

Matt let himself sink to the floor, stretching out his legs and leaning back on his hands. “Okay, I can’t wait to tell you how wrong you are. Hit me, big guy.”

“I…It’s my fault because there’s something wrong with me. I…I’ve _never_ wanted to have sex before.”

There. He said it. Getting the words out was like trying to shove his fist through a brick wall, but somehow he did it. Saying it out loud suddenly made it real, shedding light on his previous lies bright enough to show every hole, every spot where it never quite fit him.

He’d opened himself up completely, for the first time in his life.

Matt stilled, as if he could sense the enormity of what Shiro had just admitted to him. He pushed himself up. He only had to take two steps to reach Shiro, but those two steps were made with such determination, Shiro’s breath stilled in his throat.

Matt wrapped his arms around him, tugging him into a tight embrace.

“Takashi, you’re probably just asexual.”

Shiro blinked, returning the hug just as fiercely. He didn’t know what the hell an ‘asexual’ was, but for once in his life Matt wasn’t teasing him. Shiro usually didn’t mind at all, but he didn’t think he could handle it with this. Not this.

“I don’t know what that is.” Shiro mumbled into Matt’s shoulder.

Matt leaned back, giving Shiro a cheerful smile. “Shall I grace you with my brilliance?” He stepped away to flop backwards onto his bed, bouncing with the force of it.

Shiro snorted. “You don’t usually give me an option.”

“Ouch, way to kick the guy trying to help you.” He sat up. “Okay, an asexual is someone that doesn’t feel sexual attraction.”

Shiro blinked. Did he feel sexual attraction? What exactly _was_ sexual attraction? “I don’t-“ He paused, letting his head tilt against the back of the armchair. “I find people attractive, though.”

“No, no, no, that’s _aesthetic_ attraction. Do you want to have sex with the people you find attractive?”

Shiro thought about it. “No.”

“Okay, have you ever wanted to have sex with anyone, ever?”

Shiro wanted to lie, wanted to say ‘of course’ and brush all of this off. But it was sounding startlingly accurate and he-

God, he just wanted to know what he _was_.

“I…no. No.” His nose crinkled in disgust at the thought.

“Well, sounds to me like you’re ace then, my friend.” Matt shrugged, giving Shiro a superior smirk. “I had a feeling you might be, since you kept completely missing all the people I kept throwing at you.”

Shiro stiffened. “What?”

“Oh, c’mon, Lesley? Jacob? Alex? That hot TA, what was her name? I can’t remember. Anyway, they were all trying to get into your pants, stud muffin.”

Shiro frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know, that’s the sad but amusing part.”

Shiro sighed. Asexual? He’d never heard of that before. A person who doesn’t feel sexual attraction. “But wait, I-“ He stuttered to a halt, face turning red. “Matt, I get… _aroused_.” He whispered the last word with growing mortification. 

Matt laughed. “Okay, but again, do you want to have sex with someone when you’re aroused?”

No. No he didn’t.

Matt took his silence for the answer it was. “I mean, like, not that I always want to have sex when I get randomly aroused for no apparent reason either.”

“Uh, does that happen a lot?”

Matt froze. “Shiro,” He said slowly, sitting up. “Are you telling me you _don’t_ randomly get aroused for no apparent reason?”

Shiro winced. “Uh, no? I usually have to be actively thinking about something sexual.”

Matt gaped at him. “God, that must be convenient! I got a fucking boner in the middle of Iverson’s physics class last week and had to excuse myself to try and calm the fuck down. Seriously!? I am so jealous of you right now.”

Shiro laughed, chest lighter than it had been in a very long time. Knowing Matt didn’t think he was defective meant more than Shiro could say.

“Anyway, you might want to research some stuff online and see if it fits you. It sounds like it does, but I can’t be the one to confirm that for you.” Matt looked over at him, eyes intense. “Just know that whether you are or not it doesn’t change anything. There’s nothing wrong with you and Tom is an asshole.”

Shiro squeezed his eyes shut, facing the ceiling. “How do _you_ know so much about this stuff?”

Matt chuckled, getting up to turn off the video game and TV, plunging the room into sudden darkness illuminated only by the moon outside their window. “My sister told me she thought she might be ace, so I looked into it a lot so I could understand.”

Asexual.

Shiro would have to look into that too. 

\---------------------------------------------------

Learning that there were others out there like him, even if it was just a small portion of the population, was life-changing. It meant he wasn’t alone, wasn’t broken.

He discovered he was what they called a ‘sex-repulsed’ asexual. He wasn’t sure he quite liked the terminology for that, even if it was accurate. The thought of himself doing anything sexual caused him to mentally recoil in revulsion.

Which, when he thought about it, really sucked. There were some asexuals that were completely fine with sex, they just never really had the desire for it. Even further, there were some that did experience sexual attraction, but only after they got to know someone for some time. Shiro’s sex-repulsion meant he was probably never going to have sex and that-

That significantly decreased his list of potential partners.

Shiro was panromantic, so at least he had no restrictions there, but even still. His chances of finding someone that could accept that was slim.

It hurt to think about.

But at the same time, he was so happy to just _know_. The answer had been there all along he’d just never thought to look for it.

\---------------------------------------------------

“Ah, Shiro?”

Shiro looked up from his book to take in his best friend. Matt was standing at the foot of Shiro’s bed, shuffling nervously. Shiro let his book lay flat on his chest. “What’s up?”

Matt opened his mouth, taking a breath before closing it again. He tried once more, eyes looking everywhere but at Shiro. “We…we’re going to Kerberos in a year.”

Shiro frowned. “Yeah?”

“A-and…I was going to wait until after, but…I…” Matt sighed, shoulders slumping. “I can’t wait that long?”

Shiro placed his book on his bed and moved to stand up, alarm bells ringing in his head. “Matt? What’s wrong?”

Matt stood up straight and squared his shoulders. “Shiro, will you go out with me?”

Shiro blinked, frozen half way in between getting up as his heart somersaulted in his chest.

“I-I mean, I know this is sudden and we’re going to be stuck together on a long trip for a year with my _dad_ and I know you’re my best friend and I don’t want this to be awkward and I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way but I just _had_ to get it out and now you’re looking at me like that and I’m just babbling away and I should probably just shut up now so I’m…I’m gonna do that. Shutting up. Now.”

“I’d love to go out.”

“Okay, yeah, I thought you wouldn’t wa-what?”

Shiro couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face, even if he wanted to. “Yes. Let’s go out.”

Matt stared at him, mouth hanging open like one of those talking fish things that sang ridiculous sea shanties while flopping around. Finally, he closed his mouth with an audible clack. “Uh, okay. Yeah. Awesome. Um…I just want to make sure you know that I mean a date, right?”

Shiro laughed. “I’m not that oblivious.”

“History says otherwise.” Matt narrowed his eyes before they both burst into laughter, breaking the tension.

“You want to go right now?”

Matt’s smile shone brighter than a thousand stars.

\---------------------------------------------------

Six weeks into the relationship, Matt decided it was time to have _The Chat_.

“Okay, so our sexualities aren’t compatible. So, we need to make sure we talk about what we’re comfortable with and what we’re not, okay? Co-mu-ni-ca-tion is key!” Matt said, clapping his hands with every syllable.

Shiro rolled his eyes. “You sound like you were reading a Cosmo magazine or something.”

“Shiro, my sweet cinnamon roll, if you think Cosmo gives good dating advice, I’m scared for my genitalia.”

“I promise you your genitalia is safe from me.”

“Good to know.” Matt grinned, leaning back in his chair and steepling his fingers like a James Bond villain. “So, cuddling seems to be okay with you, yeah?”

“Definitely.” Shiro smiled, tightening his grip on the pillow he was hugging to his chest.

“Okay, that’s good because I will require regular cuddling. As much as we have time for.”

“I can do that.”

“Good. So…I know you’re not comfortable with sex at all. I am fine with that, I promise you.” Matt looked up at Shiro slowly. “How do you feel about blowjobs?”

Shiro winced, hesitating. “Um…yes?”

“Ah, ah, ah! I can see you lying. If this is gonna work you have to be honest with me. I have to trust that you aren’t forcing yourself to do things just because you think I want them. And you need to be able to believe me when I say I’m okay without them. Got it?”

Shiro ducked his head in embarrassment at being caught out. “Okay. Then, no. I-I can’t-“

“No further explanation needed.” Matt interrupted, holding out his hand in a ‘stop’ position. “It’s out. What about handjobs?”

This time Shiro took the time to consider it. “Um…maybe? I’m not sure. I might be okay so long as you don’t…don’t come on me.”

Matt nodded. “Okay, we can put that in the ‘maybe’ pile. Just don’t push yourself, okay? We can try it but if you feel uncomfortable, we stop.”  


Shiro bobbed his head.

“Toys?”

“Ah…maybe? Might depend on the toy and…and how much fluids…”

“Okay, we can look into that. Kissing?”

“Just…just ask permission first.”

Shiro willed himself to relax. They’d been dating for awhile now and hadn’t done much more than cuddling. Matt was amazing. He made Shiro so, so happy. But guilt churned in his stomach. He felt like he was saying no to so many things that Matt would normally be enthusiastic about. It didn’t seem fair to him that Shiro wasn’t-

His thoughts cut off as a pair of arms wrapped around his neck. Shiro looked up to meet Matt’s sharp, golden-brown eyes.

“Hey, I can see you thinking in there. Stop it. I told you it was fine, and I need you to believe me, okay?”

Shiro blinked, nodding slowly. If Matt said he was fine, then Shiro would believe him, otherwise this wasn’t going to work. He pressed his forehead to Matt’s.

“I believe you.”

“Can I kiss you?” Matt murmured, eyes bright.

Shiro tilted his head so that his lips met Matt’s, eyes fluttering closed as electricity shot through his heart.

Shiro didn’t have the words to express how much he loved this man.

Thankfully, Matt didn’t seem to need them.

\---------------------------------------------------

“Kerberos is about a week away. I still can’t believe we’re actually going to be there.”

Matt’s grin was infectious and Shiro felt his own lips stretch into a smile. “I’m glad I get to do this with you.” He said, entwining his fingers with Matt’s as they stared out at the stars. The ship was small, the food sucked and Shiro hardly got to sleep being the only pilot on board.

In the end it didn’t matter. He’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

Matt’s fingers tightened around Shiro’s. “You just want me for my body!” He joked, pressing his free hand to his chest dramatically.

“It’s true.” Shiro said seriously, face blank. “You give the best cuddles and I just can’t give that up.”

Matt preened. “That’s understandable. I’d do anything for a piece of this too.”

Matt might have been joking, but Shiro wasn’t. He really would do anything for him.

\---------------------------------------------------

Anything.

Matt’s horrified face was going to be the last thing he’d ever see. It hurt more than he could say.

“Take care of your father.” He whispered as the alien bot pulled him back, grip tight on his arm as they dragged him towards the arena. Towards death.

He’d go willingly if it meant keeping Matt safe.

\---------------------------------------------------

Matt’s sister was so much like him: determined, headstrong and brilliant. His heart clenched every time he looked at her. It was like seeing a ghost of _him_ every time she laughed, every time she smirked, every time she destroyed someone with her frightening wit.

Shiro’s fingers twitched at every memory of his smile, longing to hold on to someone that was no longer around. He was probably dead, but Shiro wouldn’t stop looking until he found proof.

An illogical part of his brain insisted he would _know_. That he would be able to tell if he was really gone.

It was that part he clung to when the nightmares kept him awake at night.

\---------------------------------------------------

Seeing Matt again was something Shiro hadn’t dared to hope for.

As the shorter man stumbled towards him, Shiro’s heart felt lighter than it had in so, so long.

He wrapped his arms around him in a desperate hug, fingers clutching Matt’s cloak like a drowning man to a life preserver.

He was back. He was safe.

And he was never letting him go.

\---------------------------------------------------

“Can I kiss you?” Matt asked quietly in the privacy of Shiro’s quarters.

The kiss was soft and chaste and wet with tears.

\---------------------------------------------------

They fell back into each other as if they’d never been separated.

\---------------------------------------------------

Shiro was usually the first to wake up.

He didn’t want to open his eyes. He was so comfortable, cozy and warm. He could feel Matt’s arm around him, seemingly unbothered by the fact that their legs were tangled together. Slowly, carefully, Shiro attempted to roll over so he could see Matt without waking him up. Matt slept like the dead, so it wasn’t all that difficult, but even still he tried to be careful.

Matt looked so peaceful asleep, even considering how cramped the bed was for two grown men. There was a small amount of drool leaking out from the corner of his mouth, and Shiro smiled. He was adorable.

Shiro scooted closer but he froze when Matt mumbled something unintelligible and his hand twitched on Shiro’s waist. After a moment, he sank back into unconsciousness.

Heart full, Shiro reached up with his left hand to card his fingers through Matt’s longer hair. This was his favourite time of the day. Early morning, when no one else was awake and Matt was all drowsy. He usually got cuddlier at this time and Shiro hadn’t yet let the stresses of the day settle on his shoulders.

As he continued to run his fingers through Matt’s hair, he glanced at the clock. 0500. Shiro was up a bit earlier than usual. More time to sleep then.

Shiro moved to burrow deeper into the covers when Matt groaned.

“Don’t stop.” He mumbled, lips quirking up into a smile.

Shiro huffed out a quiet laugh, returning his hand to Matt’s hair. Matt’s smile widened, and he opened one eye, his gaze focusing on Shiro.

“Good morning.” Shiro laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to Matt’s lips.

“It’s too early. Go back to sleep.”

“I was going to until someone got very demanding.”

Matt snorted, rolling over onto his back. “Shut up. I’m worth it.”

Warmth settled in Shiro’s chest. He pushed himself up on his hands so he was leaning over Matt. He let his elbows bend so he could press a lingering kiss to soft lips, holding himself up with just the strength of his arms. Matt groaned, face flushing as Shiro pulled back.

“Okay fine, I guess I’ll forgive you, my big, strong beefcake.” Matt’s smile lit up his entire face as Shiro flopped back onto the bed. Matt pulled Shiro closer, latching onto him and tangling their legs together again like a cuddly octopus.

Shiro closed his eyes as Matt huffed against his chest. He had never felt as content as he did with Matt.

Maybe others wouldn’t get it, but it worked for them.

He didn’t need to fall asleep, exhausted and sweaty from a night of passionate sex. No, instead he fell asleep to Matt softly swearing at his tablet as he attempted to fix a coding issue. He didn’t need hasty hands fumbling in between missions, he just needed Matt’s hands in his hair as sleep settled on him. He didn’t need frantic blowjobs in the bathroom, just the press of Matt’s shoulder as they sat side-by-side during dinner.

They didn’t love each other any less than anyone else even without all the love-making.

They just loved.

\---------------------------------------------------

_Bonus_

Matt watched as Shiro slipped back into sleep, mouth slightly open as his breath evened out.

Having Shiro back here with him was a miracle that he would never stop being thankful for.

Matt closed his eyes. Back at the Garrison, an old acquaintance had told him he was crazy to date someone that wouldn’t put out. Matt couldn’t disagree more. Sex was great, Matt wouldn’t deny that, but it wasn’t the be all end all of a relationship to him.

He didn’t need sex to know that Shiro loved him.

Shiro showed his love in a thousand different ways.

When his eyes raked over Matt’s body after a mission, checking for injuries. When his fingers tangled with Matt’s during a long flight. When he brought Matt snacks when he was too caught up in a project or hung around checking star charts instead of nagging Matt to sleep because he just always seemed to _know_ when Matt needed to stay awake.

It was soft murmuring in his ear when he awoke from a nightmare. The way his hands would clutch onto Matt desperately after _he_ woke up from a nightmare.

It was love notes left in binary on his stuff and souvenirs brought back from missions.

It was love.

Matt didn’t need anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned before, this fic is a prequel of sorts to my fic "My Anaconda Don't". If you enjoyed this one, please check that one out as well! It's a more humorous take on asexual Shiro. 
> 
> If you think you might be asexual, or you have a lot of questions about asexuality, please check out [AVEN](https://www.asexuality.org/). It helped me a lot when I was trying to find answers. You are not alone, there are others out there!
> 
> Please feel free to talk to me about Voltron on [Tumblr](http://eilera-chan.tumblr.com/). :)


End file.
